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Opinions and Predictions

Your monthly dose of crazy!vintage tv

They told Columbus the world was flat and he’d go over the edge if he kept going. The experts said formula is as good as breast milk. The experts said thalidomide was safe. Here are some more expert predictions:

  • Television won’t last because people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night. Darryl Zanuck, movie producer, 20th Century Fox, 1946
  • Rail travel at high speed is not possible because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia. Dr. Dionysius Lardner, 1830
  • A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth’s atmosphere. New York Times, 1936
  • X-rays will prove to be a hoax. Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society, 1883
  • The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty, a fad. The President of the Michigan Savings Bank advising Henry Ford’s lawyer not to invest in the Ford Motor Company, 1903
  • The telephone has too many shortcomings to be considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. Western Union Internal Memo, 1876

Do you know of any crazy predictions? Tell us below!

Humor

1. Walking 20 minutes can add to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

2. My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.. Now he’s 97 years old … and we haven’t a clue where he is.

3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

4. The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

5. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing.

6. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. I haven’t lost a pound. Apparently you have to actually go there.

7. Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

8. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say, “Well, he looks good, doesn’t he.”

9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years . just getting over the hill was enough.

11. We all get heavier as we get older, because there’s a lot more information in our skulls. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

12. Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

GIGGLES….. GIGGLES…… GIGGLES WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?

(written by a class of 8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other peoples’.

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They don’t say, ‘Hurry up.’

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

They have to answer questions like ‘why isn’t God married?’ and ‘How come dogs chase cats?’

When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.

Asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, ”she lives at the airport and when we want her we just go get her. Then when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”

It’s funny when they bend over, you hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.